Today I woke up (late) and anxiety and panic were almost instant. Tricky and messy. I took some meds and fell back asleep for hours and hours (certainly far longer than what should've been the outcome from the meds, meds which I wouldn't normally sleep from at those doses)...I woke up when mum got home and same thing.
I messaged my psychologist out of fear and frustration and feeling so low and he, who isn't so sure on his beliefs about God but knows mine fairly well, sat and reminded me that sometimes just existing is a wonderous thing....even more so is to contemplate (for we cannot fully know right now) God's wonder over us, His creation. So I learnt from an unusual place something I wouldn't have otherwise thought.
It hasn't erased the anxiety or panic but it did give me pause to stop. I guess the thing is, sometimes we're so very convinced we'll find answers to our questions in certain places, maybe an inpatient admission, in therapy, in school, in our vocations, in our holidays, worshipping people...so many things but so often, if we just settle our soul down, what we need to do and what will bring us peace comes with a whisper or through another person, book, music etc... for example I once completed a very difficult assignment using library books aimed at PRIMARY school children, needless to say I got over 90%! So keep watching cause you never know when life is going to present you with both opportunities and answers to those opportunities. :)
1 comment:
Hey sweetie, thank you so much for sharing such an important insight - I needed to know this, too.
".. messaged my psychologist out of fear and frustration and feeling so low and he, who isn't so sure on his beliefs about God but knows mine fairly well, sat and reminded me that sometimes just existing is a wonderous thing....even more so is to contemplate (for we cannot fully know right now) God's wonder over us, His creation. So I learnt from an unusual place something I wouldn't have otherwise thought."
We don't know why we are here, why we are going through what we are. We only know that it's important to our Father. And yes, YOU are important. So am I.
You are right, there are so many opportunities everywhere - we only have to look.
Hoping you feel better soon, you are such a special friend to me. Love always xxx
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